Whitstable Tidings Issue 3 2013

The monthly journal of Whitstable and Seasalter Golf Club Collingwood Road, Whitstable, Kent, CT5 1EB Tel 01227 272020 e-mail wandsgolfclub@talktalkbusiness.net
Web site www.whitstable-golfclub.co.uk Volume 3 Issue no.3 1st March 2013 Editor Bob Ireland, 01227 638425, 07802874914,robert.ireland@gmail.com
AGM Minutes
Any member wishing to read the minutes of the last AGM or for that matter any previous AGM minutes may get a copy from the Secretary.
Forthcoming Events for your Diary Easter Egg Hunt (children only!)
March 30th 1500hrs – 1700hrs will be the time for this exciting children’s day, all those with young children, grandchildren or great-grandchildren, get them involved! It’s a fun day for the kids and only costs £3! Richard Smith will once again adopt his Chicken disguise; there will be a Hot Dog meal, an Easter Bonnet competition possibly a bouncy castle! The ninth hole will be closed for the duration of the event for safety reasons.
Wine and Wisdom
Friday 12 April 1900hrs for 1930hrs Teams of eight, table snacks and wine, these are popular events so get your team
together and remember no I phones or like, trespassers will be disqualified! (as you all know the use of ‘phones in the clubhouse is prohibited) The entry fee is £7.50 per person- book early to avoid disappointment!
Games Night
Saturday May 11th 1800hrs This is a new event we would love everyone to come to. The sports you’ll be competing will be Darts, Shove ha’penny, giant Jenga, putting, skittles, cribbage, Backgammon and wind up horseracing. The last event will be a quiz on the rules of golf! The format will be mixed teams of 8 players. One player will be selected from each team to play a maximum of 3 games each. The putting, skittles and giant Jenga will be pairs competitions, the quiz a team event and all other games individual. The scores will be allocated on a league basis, the winning team winning bottles of booze! Table snacks will be provided and the entry cost will be £5 per person
The website has been revamped and there are still some small problems to sort out. If you are having trouble accessing the members page e-mail Bob Ireland at robert.ireland@gmail.com and all will be resolved! Your comments on the website would be appreciated any improvements you can suggest will be considered.
Greens and Course News
Any members having questions about the greens or course in general can write to me or e-mail and I will get an answer from our Greenkeeper. The question and answer will be published in the newsletter and on the web site.
Away Days Kent County Cricket I have access to some Stakeholder days at the St Lawrence county ground. The day comprises tea and coffee on arrival, two-course lunch, afternoon tea, coffee and biscuits plus entry to the ground for only £35.00. Dress code is formal so jacket and tie for men. Anyone wishing to take advantage of this fab offer should contact Bob Ireland on 07802 874914, 01227 638425 or leave a message on the club notice board.
The Old Salts Captain Colin Chapman, Secretary George Bawden

  In early February the elements relented for once. You may have missed it if you were still in bed, but on the 7th of the month the sun was seen fleetingly on the seventh fairway, when 24 Salts cheered, threw off their inhibitions but kept on their thermals for the Winter Eclectic. Dave Morgan galloped to an impressive 40 points to once more win the day for the Players. Henry Kernighan carded 36 points with Colin (Hit Man) Holton coming home to a warm and inviting clubhouse with 34. For the Gentlemen, Clive Witten putted in everything to head the section with 39 points. Alec Parrett watched on admiringly and carried off 35 points of his own to edge out Trevor Coombes who was just one point away. Colin Chapman and (I’m back) George Bawden saw off Les Cox and Fred Stokes three and two in an enjoyable Captain’s Challenge to round off an equally challenging day. A fortnight later The Old Salts numbered 27 to start with as they gathered to take on another round of Chapman’s Chase. The wind chill of much magnitude saw many seek refuge after nine to enjoy a hot chocolate or two with brandy chasers. But Captain Colin and George Bawden showed the faint hearts how, to finish all square with Peter Steigmann and John Shepherd in the weekly challenge. Anyone else up for it (hopefully when the weather is much kinder) should get in the queue to pencil in his name. The Players’ Chase was won by Dave Morgan once again with a fine 38 considering the elements. He was three points ahead of John Dowle, who in turn was three in front of Tony Bensted. For the Gentlemen John Shepherd carded 33, with Clive Witten on 30 and Terry Suggett 28.

 The Old Salts gathered again for their Friendly Fourballs as February blew itself out. Many played just the nine, citing the cold, but again the Captain’s Challenge went the full journey with Colin and George Bawden ending victorious by three and two over a determined Bob Ireland and Kit Ryan.
The game was looking a little easy for Colin and George until Bob Ireland grabbed two back at the turn. But a wrong ball after a magnificent drive down the tenth to the gap brought the challengers’ run to a skidding halt. The mystery Old Salt who probably played Bob’s ball from his tee shot from the eleventh will hang his head as he reads this. On current form Colin and George need very little help to see off most challenges.
We are in a great place with the Annual Dinner. The list has finally closed on 82 for March 14 with two reserves hungry for a place at the table. Eight more diners were found places by the organisers after Tony Love arrived back from a holiday in Florida, and the man from Del Monte said ‘It’s alright’. So the Salts, with their wives and partners can look forward with much expectation to soup, salmon and meringue and then sit back to enjoy Three Tenors and a Fiver.
For those who won a trophy last year, it is proposed to present it to you officially at the dinner, so that your nearest and dearest can share the moment with you… .. If you can remember it. (No need to re-live the whole 18 holes to your near-neighbours between courses).
Junior Section Captain Richard Smith, Vice captain Jack Tucker Secretary Peter Wade.
On the 26th January some of the juniors went down to Manston Golf Centre ands were met by the Pro David Vernon, who had reserved three bays on the Driving Range, with what seemed an unlimited supply of balls! He also gave our juniors some excellent one on one tuition, which was very well received! So a big thank you David. Due to the course being rather damp, there were no Medal competitions played in January. On Thursday 21st February eight hardy juniors played on a very cold afternoon for the February Medal. Jonathon Nevett won with Jack Tucker in second and Richard Smith third.
Weather permitting the next round will be Saturday 2nd March at 1230hrs. A warm welcome should be extended to new member Paddy Underhill and Mia Waddingham who has rejoined. Good luck to all the Junior’s this year let’s hope for a great season. Anyone requiring further information on the junior section should contact Peter Wade on 01227 266210
Ladies Section Captain Jackie Witten, Vice Captain Linda Bawden Secretary Jean Hudson
Great News !! There was a ‘proper ‘ competition at the end of February, signing the book and paying money and everything, trolleys allowed, oh, it was almost overwhelming! A Texas Scramble was the plan so off we went, however, the temperature was only just high enough to sustain life, and seemed to drop as the morning wore on. The long and short of it was that 3 diehards completed the competition; two more finished but had lost the third man at the ninth, everyone else either strained something due to the
unaccustomed exercise, or couldn’t resist the lure of a hot coffee and a Tony sandwich after 9 chilly holes. Winners: Mel Bashford, Vilma Parrett and Sue Pout, well done for surviving! Runners up; (best of the 9 hole gang),Val Brown, Debbie Murray and Louise Tucker. The only other golfing event that happened to the ladies was when Captain Jackie dragged a team off to Sittingbourne to play the Daily Mail Foursomes Knockout. The reluctance was due to the wind, sleet and rain, plus general iciness and lack of playing practice. However, the girls done good; not winning, but doing well on such a hard course, taking their opponents to the last few holes before capitulating. Well done Jackie, Linda Bawden, Mel Bashford, Pat Bensted and Mary King. Looking forward
to a brighter March!
  Men’s Section Captain Richard Gremo, Vice Captain Andy Sargeant
No report from the Men’s Section for obvious reasons!
Midweekers Section Captain Peter Shearing, Vice Captain Ray Thomas Secretary Peter Fox
The Ray Emmerson Shield, played with a reduced field on a shortened course was a non-qualifier event. The competition was won, on count back by Gary Hartley-Trigg with 36 point from Dave Chalk, 3rd was Martyn Singleton.
Only one birdie was recorded and that was by Dave Chalk The Captains Challenge was a very close affair with a new pairing of Dave Chalk and Frank Netts winning 2 and 1,still no victory for the captains pair. Unfortunately the L Fessey Cup had to be abandoned due to poor weather and close proximity of the AGM and season end of competition results. The last event was the S Ashworth Cup-Stableford. A field of 27, braved a bitter wind, making for a very uncomfortable round of golf. The winner was decided on count being Frank Sheldon from Don Crawford on 37 points with John Wegner 3rd on 35 (good to see you John). Due to harsh conditions there were no birdies. Once again defeat in the Captains Challenge. This time by Bob Ireland and John Wegner 6 and 4 it was close for the first 4 holes, all square but was down hill from there. The next competition is the P Glenn March Shield Wed 13th March (that why it’s called the March Shield) followed by Annual Lunch and AGM. Hoping for a big turn out. Anyone with appoint to raise should do so at that meeting. At the lunch all the Year long competitions winners will be presented with their trophies. A date for all your diaries, Friday 11th October. A Charity evening will be put together by the Midweekers more details to follow, check The Tidings for more info.. Any member with a particular talent (or no particular talent other than a yen to draw attention to him/herself!) who would like to take part please contact Peter Shearing.
Veteran’s Section Captain Barry Broadbent, Secretary Bob Ireland
Players are required for the Vet’s matches as shown on the fixture list below. These are good matches; teams composed of 10 a side play betterball fourballs against some great clubs and good courses. The cost is £12.00 per match home and away and the only qualifications are a maximum handicap of 20 and to be over 60 years of age. If you haven’t played for the club before come and give it a try it’s great fun and very competitive. An entry list and fixture list are posted in the men’s changing room; please indicate if you are unable to make any fixture.
2013 Fixtures Monday 18th March Monday 25th March Friday 5th April Friday 10th May Friday 24th May Monday 3rd June Tuesday 25th June Friday 12th July Friday 19th July Tuesday 23rd July Friday 9th August Friday 16th August
Canterbury The Ridge Etchinghill Canterbury Chestfield Tudor Park Broome Park Broome Park Chestfield Tudor Park Etchinghill The Ridge
away 1230 hrs home 0900 hrs home 0900 hrs home 0900 hrs away 0830 hrs home 0900 hrs away 0900 hrs home 0900 hrs home 0900 hrs away 0830 hrs away 0830 hrs away 0900 hrs
Please note the change of date from Friday 19th April to Friday 5th April! (This is due to the birthday celebrations, on that day, of one Tony Love who is to join us in the Kent Vets by then having achieved his entry age!)
Super Seventies

The list for the opening match of the season, at home to Chestfield on April 9, is now up and ready for those who fancy a game against our neighbours. If you are over seventy and OK to play off 21 or better, give it a go. Alec needs ten names for the game, including two reserves. It is a fiver a go, with no dressing up for a meal or suchlike. Just a hot cheese and bacon baguette, courtesy of Tony Love before the 1pm tee-off, and then a gentle swing and a laugh with some nice people of similar afflictions.
The full programme is also on display in our cloakroom. Etchinghill are the most recent newcomers to League C, having played themselves in with a couple of friendlies against us last year. Just to repeat the standings at the end of 2012. We finished ahead of Chestfield with 37 points, bettering them by five at the end of the year, and twice as many points overall than in 2011.
Broome Park (who we meet at home for our second match this year on May 15) strode away from everyone at first but were pressed hard by North Foreland at the end, who only lost out on countback after we surprised them away when we drew two matches each. What fame! But they were not happy for us robbing them of the League win. Our results last year showed us winning three, losing four (all away) and drawing three. This year let’s do better and get some away games sorted. Magicians please apply.
Fixture List April: Home v Chestfield on the 9th. May: Home Broome Park 14th May. Away Canterbury 24. June: Away Chestfield 21. Home Canterbury 25. July: Away Broome Park 25. Home Etchinghill 29. August: Home North Foreland 13. September: Away North Foreland 12. Home Etchinghill 24.
Fundraising 100 Club
This fundraising venture costs £1 per month, with monthly prizes of £30, £20 and £15. There is a bonus double draw at Christmas each year. You’ve got to be in it to win it!
January Winners
1st £30.00 2nd £20.00 3rd £10.00
Kit Ryan Ros Browning Pat Best
Fixture List 2013 Notes on Tee reservations
Tuesdays Tuesdays (Summer) W ednesdays (Summer) Midweekers Tournaments Friday (Spring onwards)
0800 -1130 Ladies 1600 -1700 Men’s Social 1230 – 1300 Ladies Social 0830 – 1130 2nd Weds Last Friday each month
1730 – 1800 Social
On Mondays (Summer) Tees 1, 2, 10 and 12 will be closed from 1700 – 1900 for the Juniors
Saturday 2nd Sunday 3rd Tuesday 5th Sunday 10th Tuesday 12th Wednesday 13th Wednesday 13th Thursday 14th Sunday 17th Monday 18th Tuesday 19th Thursday 21st Friday 22nd Sunday 24th Monday 25th Monday 25th Tuesday 26th Wednesday 27th Thursday 28th Sunday 31st
1300 Hrs Juniors Medal am March Hare Trophy Stableford am Ladies Competition am Captains Swindle am Ladies Competition am Midweekers Peter Glenn March Shield Stableford pm Midweekers annual lunch and AGM pm Old Salts annual dinner am Monthly Medal 1230 Hrs Kent Vets v Canterbury (home) am Ladies Jubilee Foursomes 1300 Hrs Ladies v Westgate (away) am Midweekers John Bills Trophy Stableford am Captains Swindle 0900 Hrs Kent Vets v The Ridge (home) am Old Salts V North Foreland (away) am Ladies 5 Club Stableford am Midweekers Ernie West Winners Trophy 1030 Hrs Ladies v North Foreland (away) am Fourball Betterball Stableford drawn competition
Monday 1st Tuesday 2nd Thursday 4th Friday 5th Saturday 6th Saturday 6th Sunday 7th Monday 8th Tuesday 9th Tuesday 9th Wednesday 10th Wednesday 10th Saturday 13th Sunday 14th Sunday 14th Monday 15th Monday 15th Tuesday 16th Saturday 20th Sunday 21st Sunday 21st Monday 22nd Tuesday 23rd Friday 26th Friday 26th Saturday 27th Saturday 27th Sunday 28th Tuesday 30th
pm Mixed Greensome am Ladies Competition am Old Salts Ken Vickers Trophy 0900hrs Kent Vets v Etchinghill (home) am Ladies Coffee Morning 1300hrs Juniors Medal am Monthly Medal am Old Salts v Walmer and Kingsdown am Ladies Medal pm Super Seventies v Chestfield (home) am Midweekers P West Easter Cup Medal am Old Salts v Chestfield (away) 1300hrs Club v Westgate (away) am Ex Captains Skinners Trophy am Stableford Old Salts V Sheerness (home) 1100hrs Ladies v St Augustines (away) am Ladies Spring Greensomes All day Centenary Bowl am Club v The Old Salts Invicta Trophy pm Ladies Medal Winners am Old Salts v Westgate (home) am Ladies Cancer Spoon Stableford am Midweekers K Bills April Cup Stableford 1200hrs Ladies v Sheerness (home) 1300hrs Allard Cup Medal Juniors under 12yoa 1300hrs Comer Cup Juniors Scratch Medal 0830hrs Daily Mail Foursomes am Ladies Competition
Ebb and Flow (letters section)
At the time of writing I can only be described as semi-suicidal! Why you may ask? The simple answer is my Captain Peter Shearing and I have yet to win a ‘Captains Challenge’. It’s not just the humiliation it’s the cost! I’ve worked it out that if we continue at this rate to the end of the season I will have paid enough to the Captains Charity, to have all the chairs in the clubhouse recovered in gold lame`.
When Peter (ex West Ham Goalie and Tommy Cooper impersonator) asked me to be his Vice Captain, like a star struck teenager, I, without hesitation said yes! Foolishly all I could see was the fame – the bright lights – my name in headlines in The Whitstable Times at least twice a month, maybe the odd photo. I like to think the reason that Peter and I struggle is that we’re like Manchester United and all our opponents treat the match as their cup final – the truth is that we play more like West Ham and almost win!
On the odd occasion in the distant past when I thought I was in with a chance, I always got pipped at the post. Walking off the 18th with a score of 39, my playing partners insisting no one will beat your score especially in these conditions, with my I’m not that bothered look firmly in place, I reply “I’m sure that several players will
beat that” Why is it that when you think you’re in with a shout, you’re always the first in the clubhouse and have to endure the torture of waiting for what seems and eternity until the last players are in. You sit there staring at the trophy wondering where to put it when you bring it home, all the while still presenting your not bothered look but deep down ready to sell soul for it. I could put it on the mantelpiece, move the photos of the grandchildren to another position.
As they trundle in with their scores the trophy looms ever closer to my grasp. At last the final player strolls in. That’s not the walk of a winner I think to myself. “How did you do”? Someone asks. “Oh not very well “ (music to my ears) “only 40 points and I struggled to get that” Suddenly my mantelpiece blows up in my face. He’s won the trophy, name in lights, mentioned in the paper and I’ve won a limp handshake.
My other problem is I can’t handle pressure! I’ve lost count of the number of times I’m on the course with about 5 holes to play, knowing I have a good score but not knowing the score exactly, when my playing partner blurts out “do you know what your score is and you’ve still got 5 holes to play”? “If you just carry on like this, you must win easily”! Before I tell him I don’t want to know my score he’s told me, and also how to play the remaining holes. The rest of my game falls apart in front of my eyes, as I knew it would. I’ve watched him destroy several careers at the club without even knowing it, it’s a gift he’s got – probably received a Masters Degree at Oxford for Literature and a 1st Class Honours Degree for telling you your score when you’ve got 5 holes left to play!
Anyway I had to get these feelings off my chest. If we win our next match please disregard this letter, Ray Thomas (Vice Captain, Midweekers)
The Editor would appreciate your comments or suggestions of ways to improve the club, course, magazine, web site, social activities, or anything else that comes to mind! Get writing – it’s your club say what you want!

15 MOADMC, 3 POAP, 1 COAS, 1 RPOAC, 4 SIAPOPC+2J. Answers to last months Ditloids
32 Pieces on a chess board, 10 Events in a decathlon, 22 Balls on a snooker table, 13 Tricks in a grand slam, 27 Equals three times three times three, 2 Cube root of eight
Any contributions of any type will be considered, puzzles, stories, history, Anecdotes, your chance to get your stuff in print!
This explains why I forward stuff. A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them. After a while, they came to a high white stonewall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight. When he was standing before it, he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side. When he was close enough, he called out, ‘Excuse me, where are we?’ ‘This is Heaven, sir,’ the man answered. ‘Wow! Would you happen to have some water?’ the man asked. ‘Of course, sir. Come right in, and I’ll have some ice water brought right up.’
The man gestured, and the gate began to open. ‘Can my friend,’ gesturing toward his dog, ‘come in, too?’ the traveler asked. ‘I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t accept pets.’ The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog. After another long walk, and at the top of
a long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book. ‘Excuse me!’ he called to the man. ‘Do you have any water?’
‘Yeah, sure, there’s a pump over there, come on in.’ ‘How about my friend here?’ the traveler gestured to the dog. ‘There should be a bowl by the pump,’ said the man. They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog. When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree. ‘What do you call this place?’ the traveler asked. ‘This is Heaven,’ he answered. ‘Well, that’s confusing,’ the traveler said. ‘The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.’ ‘Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That’s Hell.’ ‘Doesn’t it make you mad for them to use your name like that?’ ‘No, we’re just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind.’ Soooo. Now you see, sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding stuff to us without writing a word. Maybe this will explain it. When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do? You forward emails. When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact, you forward jokes. When you have something to say, but don’t know what, and don’t know how – you forward stuff. A ‘forward’ lets you know that you are still remembered, you are still important, you are still cared for. So, next time if you get a ‘forward’, don’t think that you’ve been sent just another forwarded joke, but that you’ve been thought of today and your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile.
If you have any unwanted clubs or equipment sell them through this Publication or the Web Site and donate 10% to the Captains Charity! Send the details to my e-mail robert.ireland@gmail.com , by post or place the details on the notice board marked for my attention.